I *hate* Insurance Companies

ARRRRRGGGHHH!!

Gotta vent: #1 son had to get new orthotics last month, something that is NEVER covered by insurance. But, miraculously, when I called Aetna (yes, that's right: Aetna) I was told that they would be 100% covered. Hear that, Aetna? On May 14th, you told me my son's orthotics would be 100% covered. 100%.

Well, shocker of shockers, the podiatrist's office left a message yesterday saying that Aetna wasn't paying. Really? Did they not say 100% covered? I swear they did.

So I called Aetna this morning, and guess what? They're NOT covered. They would be, if my son were geriatric or diabetic, but since he's only hypotonic, they're not. Somehow, they left that part out. Funny, that.

Amazingly, my 5/14 conversation was documented - they do recognize that they told me we were covered. But we're still really not covered.

WTF???

Thank God for flex accounts.

Affordable Autism Treatment

I have one, possibly two children on the autistic spectrum. Fortunately for me, my 7 year old is very "high functioning," and fully mainstreamed in the public school. (My youngest is awaiting diagnosis - his evaluation will be in August.)

I'm a working mother who, fortunately, has a working husband and good insurance. Our developmental pediatrician is 100% covered. But here's the thing: She really doesn't do anything except diagnose and recommend treatment. The treatments she recommends are largely therapy-based - behavioral psychologists, social skills, occupational therapy, speech therapy...

None of these treatments tend to be covered by insurance. If you're lucky, you can submit them as "out of network" expenses after you hit a deductible (in our case, I think it's $750) and then you can get 70% back. But my husband works for a big company, so our benefits are great. Most people don't have that much coverage. And not all our therapies will be eligible. Social skills, for example - the therapy we need most - is NEVER covered.

We've used a flexible spending account in the past, too, and even that can't be used for some therapies.

Needless to say, providing therapies for one child on the spectrum is a financial hardship. We haven't even begun to treat child #2 yet.

And again - we're lucky. We're middle-class and well insured. But not all families of autistic children are as fortunate as we are.

So, I was really pleased to see a tweet from MomsRising this morning.

It sees that New York's new Senator (and HRC's Senate replacement), Kristen Gillibrand, is proposing affordable autism treatments in New York state. Since she estimates that treatments can cost up to $6K per month (I 100% believe that), this is what she's proposing:

First, I’m pursuing a mandate on insurance companies to ensure they provide affordable, quality treatment for Autism Spectrum Disorders. We must make sure families can get the treatment their children need, through insurance coverage they can afford.

Second, I’m authoring new legislation to provide military families with affordable treatment. My new legislation, the Uniformed Services with Autism Heroes Act or the “USA Heroes Act”, will require TRICARE, the military health insurance program to cover the full cost of autism treatment. Currently, TRICARE caps autism coverage at $3,000 a month – about half the treatment a child needs for effective therapy. What’s worse, thousands of military families are forced to the bottom of long waiting lists for autism specialists each time they are relocated. Families that fight our wars and defend our freedoms should not face bankruptcy for trying to get the medical care their children need.

And as the third step in my plan, I’m calling for a portion of the $10 billion that was given to the NIH under the President’s Economic Recovery plan be dedicated toward autism research to give scientists and laboratories the resources they need to reach the next breakthrough.

Right on, Senator. Now help protect the jobs of women who have to leave work to take their kids to therapy....

Here's the Senator's YouTube video on the topic. (And, btw, seriously impressed by the Senator's use of Social Media.)

Who needs the gym when you've got ExerciseTV?

My 20th high school reunion was last week. 

Nothing short of public speaking freaked me out as much as that - and I can't explain why. In most aspects of my life, I'm a pretty confident person. I'm not bad looking (no Zeta Jones, but OK), I'm reasonably smart, have a degree from a respectable university, I've got a great career... And yet, with the reunion coming up, I felt completely inadequate. I had to have GREAT outfit, GREAT hair, and I absolutely, positively HAD to lose that last five pounds. 

For a girl who, in 1989,  wore combat boots every day and enough eyeliner to make Amy Winehouse jealous, you 'd think I'd have been a lot cooler and more aloof about the whole thing, but but no.  

The outfit and the hair seemed easy enough, but the 5 pounds... I'd seriously plateaued. After the birth of son #3, I ballooned up like a post-breakup Jessica Simpson. I joined Curves (I swear I didn't know about the pro-life thing...) and went on a high protein diet. And I started running.  

It all worked pretty well, but I did plateau five pounds short of my goal. I look fine, but still have a little bit of a jelly belly, which I'd like to see disappear.

With two kids in day care and schedule so tight I barely have time to sleep, gym membership was out of the question. Runing and walking (outside and on my garage sale treadmill) weren't working enough muscle groups. I was tired of my Cindy Crawford video.

And then I discovered ExerciseTV. Jackpot!

Did you know about this? It's amazing. There must be over a hundred videos to choose from every month, and they're all free On Demand.  If you have any kind of cable or satellite TV system with On Demand service, you probably have it already.

I've tried a bunch of different videos and programs, finally locked into Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred. Marketers: Take note. This is a 3-phase program with phases 1 and 2 free On Demand. But if you want to progress to Phase 3,  you've gotta buy the DVD. How freaking smart is that?

"The Shred" really is a 30-day program, and it totally kicked my ass - but it's only a 20 minute workout. So I could get up at 6:00, do the workout, shower, and get everyone out the door on time. Brilliant! 

On weekends, I'd add on a "three-mile walk" with Leslie Sansone. That workout is a bit corny, but it gets the job done. And with my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in the fall (sponsor me!), I need all the extra walking I can get.

By the end of my month on the shred (and I did buy the DVD for the 3rd workout) I'd lost most of my awful jelly belly. And, best of all, I'd gotten so used to getting up to workout every morning, I'm still doing it.  Jumping jacks in the morning - for me, anyway - work better than coffee.  Not that I'm giving up my beloved coffee any time soon.

So, bottom line: I lost the flab, feel great, and have better fitness habits....and I didn't have to join a gym. ExerciseTV is free and couldn't be more convenient. As long as they keep adding workouts I enjoy, I'm good!

Quoted in "Battle of the Marketing Sexes" on iMediaConnection

I was interviewed by Susan Kuchinskas for this really smart (and fun) article on iMedia Connection.

The article, Battle of the Marketing Sexes, is based on the suggestion that women may, biologically, be predisposed to being better online marketers:

No matter how much we hate to hear it, the scientific jury is in: The brains of men and women are different. They differ in size, structure and composition, and they function differently, as well. If that's the case, it's not so sexist to examine whether there might be certain things that one sex might be better at. Math, for example. Or marketing.

Before you go crazy on me, let's get a few things straight: First, nothing you're about to read applies to all women or all men. Scientists acknowledge that the range of individual differences is huge, and anyone might fall anywhere on the spectrum. Second, scientists use language like "tends to," indicates" and "seems to" in order to make clear that their studies almost never give an absolute answer. Moreover, the results of even a study of a large number subjects may not apply to people in general. I will pepper this article with "seems to's;" if I omit one, it's to streamline the language, not because I think it's an absolute....

Read on for more - and for my interview!

My Many, Many Titles

Just thinking about all the roles I play, all the titles I can claim. They include:

• Mom
• Marketing Director
• Professional Singer
• Artist
• Writer
• Breast Cancer Cruscader
• AIDS Warrior (semi-retired, but soon to be active again)
• Cook
• Housekeeper
• Potty Trainer
• Bather of Small Children
• Chauffer
• Human Companion (to my dog)
• Book Club Member

I guess it's not surprising that I'm really tired a lot of the time.

Why doesn't day care use a social network?

Stupidly, I forgot my phone today. This is particularly dire, as I am at a new job and don't have a desk phone or company mobile yet. So my cell phone is the only way school and daycare folks can reach me. (I have asked my husband to call in to make sure everyone's OK. We'll see how fast he jumps on that IM.)

Anyway, it occurred to me, as I browsed through the daycare center's antiquated site, looking for a phone number, that a day care center might be wise to leverage social networking technology. How convenient would it be if Little Tots Academy had a group on Facebook? Let's count all the benefits here:

• I could network with other moms, maybe even a few dads. Not only would this be any easy way to set up playdates, it would make me feel less like the newest mom there, which I am.
• The owners could easily post reminders and notifications - "We're closing early for a staff party," or the dreaded "Tuition is due."
• Owners and staff could easily reach parents (especially parents who've forgotten their phones!) on a one-to-one basis: "Awstin is sick. Can you pick him up ASAP?" or "Iain cut off his friend's ponytail during art class today. Can you pick him up ASAP?" or even "We have donuts today. OK to give him one?"
• Events could be posted for all to see, as could important news items, like a coxsackie outbreak in the area, carseat recalls or other relevant news.

See where I'm going with this? It just seems like such an obvious benefit to me, and all the parents at daycare OBVIOUSLY work - most of us, I'll wager, with computers in front of our noses all day - so reach and relevancy should be good.

I'd say I'm going to jump on this and talk to my daycare directors about it ASAP, but I know how overextended I am anyway...work, three kids, staying healthy/fit, peforming, writing a new cabaret act...not much time for freelance work. But on the otherhand, this daycare does cost more than $500/month more than the old one, so a barter deal may be well worth overextending myself!

We'll see!

Daycare Drama (dupe from AngryAsthmaMama)

I'm switching the little boys' daycare this week. The one they've been in was B's third, but he's in 1st grade now -- and this is the only daycare the two little guys have ever known. So you can imagine how grueling a decision this has been.

The place was really nice for the first few months we were there. I should have known, when the director who showed me the place departed on our first day there, (departed *for good*, I should add) that the outlook might not have been good. And now, four directors later, I can say that it was, at times, very good. But right now, it sucks.

After the last director left, the new one, Miss R. came in very quickly. Rob and I call her "Miss America" because she literally comes to work with pageant hair and full makeup - including eyelashes. She's built like a beauty queen, too, and loves to wear tasteful, expensive-looking, very fitted clothing to show it off.Miss R looks very professional, but she - like the rest of the staff - is very young, with no children of her own. She's concerned with things like ratios, and classroom supplies. She loves the cute kids, but hasn't an inkling what it's like to leave your children with strangers every day.

So, needless to say, she's part of the problem. She hires young staff, doesn't announce when they leave, doesn't announce when new staff joins, and doesn't communicate well with parents. When I talk to her about concerns I have, I often feel like there's a language barrier or something. I can practically see everything I say fly right over her perfectly styled head.

Turnover is a problem, too. Half the time, someone I've never met is handing my kids to me at the end of the day. There's only one teacher who's been there as long as we have.

That's the background. Here are the actuals:

1. Frequently, when I drop Ig off, his room is over ratio. Now, if this place didn't already push state limits, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal. But on a GOOD day, there are two very young women with 14 2.5 year old. I can barely manage 1 two-year old. But seven? So if there are 16 kids in there, I will wait until kids and teachers are shuffled appropriately and I can feel safe leaving my son. The waiting makes Ig uneasy and me late for work. And it's an ongoing issue.

2. When I pick up, the boys will sometimes be together in one room, with a teacher I barely know watching tiny little Ig with a bunch of older 4YOs. Which wouldn't be so bad if the teacher was actually watching and if Ig weren't so tiny and immature for his age.

3. On 3 separate occasions, Ig has come home with no pullup and no undies. Funny the first time, downright concerning by the third. He doesn't have tear-away pullup. He has to take offf his pants and undies to do this. Which means he's got to be alone in the bathroom for close to five minutes to accomplish this task. And did I mention that he slipped in the bathroom and had to get stitches a few months ago?4

. Ozzy had an asthma flare last week. I would have kept him home if I had any flexibility at work, but I coudln't. So I nebbed him up and sent him to daycare with an alubterol MDI. I filled out all the forms for him to get the meds....and he didn't. They forgot to give him his 4 o'clock dose. They. Forgot. To. Give. Him. Asthma. Meds.

...and that was the final straw.

So I'm moving them away from their friends to a nearby center. The new place is about half the size and family-owned. It's clean. And Ig's room has 8 boys and two *mature* caregivers. Ozzy's room has three teachers; one of them is the owner.

I feel good about the move, but it's a LOT more money...at a time when no one has a LOT more money for everything. And it's disruptive to all of us.

I wish this wasn't a necessary step, but I don't think our current childcare situation is repairable. Miss America takes responsibilty for nothing. She blamed Ig for the diaper removal. While her business manager admitted to forgetting Ozzy's medicine, she lied to corporate -- and essentially blamed Ozzy for lying about the missed dosed! She blamed the teachers for Ig's stitches and the business manager for the ratio issues. I can't work with someone who can't own their mistakes. Doesn't she realize that her staff is reflection of herself? That if she were on "The Apprentice," the Donald would have sacked her ass?

Hopefully, the kids and I will be happier at the new center. Ig's been very clingy at drop-off lately - a new behavior for him, probably sympomatic of the chaos he has to deal with once I leave.As my co-worker so aptly put it, "It's OK to *miss* your kids while you're at work, but you can't *worry* about them."