Mom 2.0

Is Jack Welch right? Can there be no balance for working mothers?

2009-07-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, I had to explain to one of my company's principals that I needed more flexibility. My youngest son seems to have some developmental issues and, twice a month, I'd like to take him to a behavioural psychologist. The most convenient appointment is 9:00 AM on Fridays.

The man I reported to nodded with understanding, and agreed that priorities are priorities - kids come first. But even as he told me not to worry about it, to do what I had to do, I sensed and undercurrent of .... what can I call it? Patronization?

Somehow, even in the most seemingly liberal of work environments, I'd gotten the sense that I'd hit the ceiling. That, while my job was probably safe, this was as far as I was going to go. I would never see the letters "VP" after my name on a business card.

In a recent speech that's gotten a lot of press, Jack Welch of GE reportedly said, "There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."

I'd hate to believe that's true...but in most companies, it probably is. However, his speech prompts other questions for me: Do I need to "have it all", in a traditional sense?

Honestly, no. Making VP would be great, but I've never been exceptionally competitive or title-oriented. I just want to love my job. If I'm leaving my kids for 8-10 hours a day to make a living, I'd damned well better be enjoying myself. I need to be challenged, for sure. And I also need to be proud of what I do. For me, that means working for an ethical company and having a title appropriate for my level experience and expertise. Mid-level management is fine...I don't need anything fancy.

What I don't want is stress. By stress, I don't mean too much work - I mean too much work without reasonable support or reasonable deadlines. Stress for me also comes from lack of trust and lack of flexibility. If I'm forced to use up my vacation time to care for sick children or made to punch in and out for medical appointments, I'm going to to be stressed.

I'm also going to be unhappy. And that's not beneficial to me OR my employer.

So that's what "having it all" means to me - have a job that I enjoy and that I'm proud of, and having ample, stress-free time with my family. And that can be after 5:00pm and on weekends. That works for me.

And believe me, (before my sleep was interrupted a minimum of twice nightly by my insomniac preschooler) I've been known to turn my laptop on after the kids have gone to bed. I've stayed up til 2:00am many, many times to finish projects. I've made many a conference call with the nebulizer running in the background. When I worked for a compassionate company, I did this happily.

I don't want my work judged through the filter of the "sacrifices" I make as working mother. I want my work judged solely on its quality, for better or for worse. Let my promotion to VP be judged on THAT basis, only.

30-Day Shred: Lessons Learned - from Hot by BlogHer

2009-07-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

Love this post from Hot by BlogHer -

It's been awhile since I did Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred regularly. I still pull it out on days when I'm not running, but it's not the religious experience it once was.

However, while running today, I realized that I've learned several lessons about fitness and health thanks to that DVD. (And listening to Jillian on her radio show, The Biggest Loser, etc.) These changes in thinking have completely altered the way I look at fitness now. Now, I'm not saying that I like exercising more now - I still have to force myself to work out! But for those of you who have done the shred, tell me if these revelations sound a little familiar to you:

1. More time does not always equal more fitness
I used to be someone who thought the longer I worked out, the more weight I'd lose. So I'd tether myself to a treadmill at 3.0 mph tops and stroll along for 45 minutes to an hour, barely breaking a sweat, and congratulate myself at the end for all my hard work. Or in college I'd go lift weights for an hour, taking long breaks between each set, moving slowly from machine to machine as I chatted with my friends.

The truth is, I wasted so much time when I worked out like that. I could have had the same or better results by not resting between sets of weights and pushing myself harder on cardio. The Shred is only 20 minutes - but in that 20 minutes I get a better workout than two hours of the above routine.

2. Complacency will get you nowhere.
If Jillian taught me anything, it's that you have to constantly push your body to make it change. If you can only do 10 push-ups now, and do them everyday, it's likely that 10 push-ups won't be quite as hard a month from now. You have to change the position, or add more push-ups in order to continue making your body work hard.

The same goes for an entire workout. If you do the same workout for the same length of time each time you exercise, eventually your body will grow accustomed to the movements and it will no longer be effective. The Shred has three different workouts, each working your body in different ways, and if you get to the point where one level is easy, you can follow the harder variation on the moves.

3. You can do more than you think you can.
I remember that first time doing the Shred, and I distinctly recall yelling at the TV, "Are you f*cking kidding me!?!?" at one point. After that first time through, I nearly shrugged my shoulders and told myself this was too hard for me. But Jillian's words stuck with me: You're strong! Ain't nothin' you can't do! And as soon as I regained the feeling in my extremities a week later, I tried it again.

With the right motivation, it's possible to push yourself harder than you've ever pushed yourself before. I needed to hear Jillian yelling at me to keep going, don't quit, fight through the pain. Now I try not to let my self-doubt get the best of me. Your mind can help or hinder you - which is it going to be? ...

Read two more revelations on this great post.

Jon & Kate + 8 - some thoughts about the divorce

2009-06-25T07:49:00.001-07:00

Just posted this comment to a conversation on TwitterMoms, and thought it was worth sharing here, as well.

On Jon & Kate's divorce:

I was also surprisingly sad about the divorce, especially since I've only seen a few episodes of the show.

I do feel that Kate was unfairly demonized in the press. With a husband as laid back as Jon, someone had to take control of that household! Was she overbearing? For sure, but she has EIGHT KIDS, and Jon didn't seem to be proactive at all as a parent. I sensed that if Jon were left alone with the kids for a day, Kate would have come home to six soiled diapers and a colossal mess where her tidy home once stood.

I also take issue with the judgments cast on Jon and Kate as parents in the media and on social sites. How do we know if they're good parents? We only know what editors and paparazzi allow us to see. I'm a working mother. Kate probably travels more than I do, but I'm away from my kids 40+ hours per week. She probably has WAY more time with her kids than I do, and you know what? GOOD FOR HER - if I had eight kids, I'd kill for a few nights a month in a hotel room, too!! And she's making far more money than I do, and again - good for her. Jon quit his job, and someone needs put those eight kids through college - and feed, clothe, educate and entertain them along the way.

I have sympathy for Jon, too. I'm sure he never signed up to be the father of eight. And Kate was probably a lot more laid back and fun when they got married, too.

That said, I think the fact that he's looking for apartments in NY says a lot about him. He's going to be 2.5 hours away from his kids, if he lives in NYC all the time. I take Jon for a guy who married young, got a lot more than he bargained for - or was ready for - and is looking sow some wild oats while he can.

My bet: You'll see him in the tabloids mingling with the likes of Lindsey Lohan before long.

I hope Kate's making enough to pay for a few good nannies. She's gonna need them.

I hate Insurance Companies

2009-06-18T06:32:00.001-07:00

ARRRRRGGGHHH!!

Gotta vent: #1 son had to get new orthotics last month, something that is NEVER covered by insurance. But, miraculously, when I called Aetna (yes, that's right: Aetna) I was told that they would be 100% covered. Hear that, Aetna? On May 14th, you told me my son's orthotics would be 100% covered. 100%.

Well, shocker of shockers, the podiatrist's office left a message yesterday saying that Aetna wasn't paying. Really? Did they not say 100% covered? I swear they did.

So I called Aetna this morning, and guess what? They're NOT covered. They would be, if my son were geriatric or diabetic, but since he's only hypotonic, they're not. Somehow, they left that part out. Funny, that.

Amazingly, my 5/14 conversation was documented - they do recognize that they told me we were covered. But we're still really not covered.

WTF???

Thank God for flex accounts.

Affordable Autism Treatment

2009-06-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

I have one, possibly two children on the autistic spectrum. Fortunately for me, my 7 year old is very "high functioning," and fully mainstreamed in the public school. (My youngest is awaiting diagnosis - his evaluation will be in August.)

I'm a working mother who, fortunately, has a working husband and good insurance. Our developmental pediatrician is 100% covered. But here's the thing: She really doesn't do anything except diagnose and recommend treatment. The treatments she recommends are largely therapy-based - behavioral psychologists, social skills, occupational therapy, speech therapy...

None of these treatments tend to be covered by insurance. If you're lucky, you can submit them as "out of network" expenses after you hit a deductible (in our case, I think it's $750) and then you can get 70% back. But my husband works for a big company, so our benefits are great. Most people don't have that much coverage. And not all our therapies will be eligible. Social skills, for example - the therapy we need most - is NEVER covered.

We've used a flexible spending account in the past, too, and even that can't be used for some therapies.

Needless to say, providing therapies for one child on the spectrum is a financial hardship. We haven't even begun to treat child #2 yet.

And again - we're lucky. We're middle-class and well insured. But not all families of autistic children are as fortunate as we are.

So, I was really pleased to see a tweet from MomsRising this morning.

It sees that New York's new Senator (and HRC's Senate replacement), Kristen Gillibrand, is proposing affordable autism treatments in New York state. Since she estimates that treatments can cost up to $6K per month (I 100% believe that), this is what she's proposing:

First, I’m pursuing a mandate on insurance companies to ensure they provide affordable, quality treatment for Autism Spectrum Disorders. We must make sure families can get the treatment their children need, through insurance coverage they can afford.
Second, I’m authoring new legislation to provide military families with affordable treatment. My new legislation, the Uniformed Services with Autism Heroes Act or the “USA Heroes Act”, will require TRICARE, the military health insurance program to cover the full cost of autism treatment. Currently, TRICARE caps autism coverage at $3,000 a month – about half the treatment a child needs for effective therapy. What’s worse, thousands of military families are forced to the bottom of long waiting lists for autism specialists each time they are relocated. Families that fight our wars and defend our freedoms should not face bankruptcy for trying to get the medical care their children need.
And as the third step in my plan, I’m calling for a portion of the $10 billion that was given to the NIH under the President’s Economic Recovery plan be dedicated toward autism research to give scientists and laboratories the resources they need to reach the next breakthrough.

Right on, Senator. Now help protect the jobs of women who have to leave work to take their kids to therapy....

Here's the Senator's YouTube video on the topic. (And, btw, seriously impressed by the Senator's use of Social Media.)

Who needs the gym when you've got ExerciseTV?

2009-05-26T07:51:00.001-07:00

My 20th high school reunion was last week.

Nothing short of public speaking freaked me out as much as that - and I can't explain why. In most aspects of my life, I'm a pretty confident person. I'm not bad looking (no Zeta Jones, but OK), I'm reasonably smart, have a degree from a respectable university, I've got a great career... And yet, with the reunion coming up, I felt completely inadequate. I had to have GREAT outfit, GREAT hair, and I absolutely, positively HAD to lose that last five pounds.

For a girl who, in 1989, wore combat boots every day and enough eyeliner to make Amy Winehouse jealous, you 'd think I'd have been a lot cooler and more aloof about the whole thing, but but no.

The outfit and the hair seemed easy enough, but the 5 pounds... I'd seriously plateaued. After the birth of son #3, I ballooned up like a post-breakup Jessica Simpson. I joined Curves (I swear I didn't know about the pro-life thing...) and went on a high protein diet. And I started running.

It all worked pretty well, but I did plateau five pounds short of my goal. I look fine, but still have a little bit of a jelly belly, which I'd like to see disappear.

With two kids in day care and schedule so tight I barely have time to sleep, gym membership was out of the question. Runing and walking (outside and on my garage sale treadmill) weren't working enough muscle groups. I was tired of my Cindy Crawford video.

And then I discovered ExerciseTV. Jackpot!

Did you know about this? It's amazing. There must be over a hundred videos to choose from every month, and they're all free On Demand. If you have any kind of cable or satellite TV system with On Demand service, you probably have it already.

I've tried a bunch of different videos and programs, finally locked into Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred. Marketers: Take note. This is a 3-phase program with phases 1 and 2 free On Demand. But if you want to progress to Phase 3, you've gotta buy the DVD. How freaking smart is that?

"The Shred" really is a 30-day program, and it totally kicked my ass - but it's only a 20 minute workout. So I could get up at 6:00, do the workout, shower, and get everyone out the door on time. Brilliant!

On weekends, I'd add on a "three-mile walk" with Leslie Sansone. That workout is a bit corny, but it gets the job done. And with my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in the fall (sponsor me!), I need all the extra walking I can get.

By the end of my month on the shred (and I did buy the DVD for the 3rd workout) I'd lost most of my awful jelly belly. And, best of all, I'd gotten so used to getting up to workout every morning, I'm still doing it. Jumping jacks in the morning - for me, anyway - work better than coffee. Not that I'm giving up my beloved coffee any time soon.

So, bottom line: I lost the flab, feel great, and have better fitness habits....and I didn't have to join a gym. ExerciseTV is free and couldn't be more convenient. As long as they keep adding workouts I enjoy, I'm good!

Quoted in "Battle of the Marketing Sexes" on iMediaConnection

2009-04-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed by Susan Kuchinskas for this really smart (and fun) article on iMedia Connection.

The article, Battle of the Marketing Sexes, is based on the suggestion that women may, biologically, be predisposed to being better online marketers:

No matter how much we hate to hear it, the scientific jury is in: The brains of men and women are different. They differ in size, structure and composition, and they function differently, as well. If that's the case, it's not so sexist to examine whether there might be certain things that one sex might be better at. Math, for example. Or marketing.

Before you go crazy on me, let's get a few things straight: First, nothing you're about to read applies to all women or all men. Scientists acknowledge that the range of individual differences is huge, and anyone might fall anywhere on the spectrum. Second, scientists use language like "tends to," indicates" and "seems to" in order to make clear that their studies almost never give an absolute answer. Moreover, the results of even a study of a large number subjects may not apply to people in general. I will pepper this article with "seems to's;" if I omit one, it's to streamline the language, not because I think it's an absolute....

Read on for more - and for my interview!

My Many, Many Titles

2009-03-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

Just thinking about all the roles I play, all the titles I can claim. They include:

Mom
Marketing Director
Professional Singer
Artist
Writer
Breast Cancer Cruscader
AIDS Warrior (semi-retired, but soon to be active again)
Cook
Housekeeper
Potty Trainer
Bather of Small Children
Chauffer
Human Companion (to my dog)
Book Club Member

I guess it's not surprising that I'm really tired a lot of the time.

Why doesn't day care use a social network?

2009-01-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

Stupidly, I forgot my phone today. This is particularly dire, as I am at a new job and don't have a desk phone or company mobile yet. So my cell phone is the only way school and daycare folks can reach me. (I have asked my husband to call in to make sure everyone's OK. We'll see how fast he jumps on that IM.)

Anyway, it occurred to me, as I browsed through the daycare center's antiquated site, looking for a phone number, that a day care center might be wise to leverage social networking technology. How convenient would it be if Little Tots Academy had a group on Facebook? Let's count all the benefits here:

I could network with other moms, maybe even a few dads. Not only would this be any easy way to set up playdates, it would make me feel less like the newest mom there, which I am.
The owners could easily post reminders and notifications - "We're closing early for a staff party," or the dreaded "Tuition is due."
Owners and staff could easily reach parents (especially parents who've forgotten their phones!) on a one-to-one basis: "Awstin is sick. Can you pick him up ASAP?" or "Iain cut off his friend's ponytail during art class today. Can you pick him up ASAP?" or even "We have donuts today. OK to give him one?"
Events could be posted for all to see, as could important news items, like a coxsackie outbreak in the area, carseat recalls or other relevant news.

See where I'm going with this? It just seems like such an obvious benefit to me, and all the parents at daycare OBVIOUSLY work - most of us, I'll wager, with computers in front of our noses all day - so reach and relevancy should be good.

I'd say I'm going to jump on this and talk to my daycare directors about it ASAP, but I know how overextended I am anyway...work, three kids, staying healthy/fit, peforming, writing a new cabaret act...not much time for freelance work. But on the otherhand, this daycare does cost more than $500/month more than the old one, so a barter deal may be well worth overextending myself!

We'll see!

Daycare Drama (dupe from AngryAsthmaMama)

2008-09-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm switching the little boys' daycare this week. The one they've been in was B's third, but he's in 1st grade now -- and this is the only daycare the two little guys have ever known. So you can imagine how grueling a decision this has been.

The place was really nice for the first few months we were there. I should have known, when the director who showed me the place departed on our first day there, (departed *for good*, I should add) that the outlook might not have been good. And now, four directors later, I can say that it was, at times, very good. But right now, it sucks.

After the last director left, the new one, Miss R. came in very quickly. Rob and I call her "Miss America" because she literally comes to work with pageant hair and full makeup - including eyelashes. She's built like a beauty queen, too, and loves to wear tasteful, expensive-looking, very fitted clothing to show it off.Miss R looks very professional, but she - like the rest of the staff - is very young, with no children of her own. She's concerned with things like ratios, and classroom supplies. She loves the cute kids, but hasn't an inkling what it's like to leave your children with strangers every day.

So, needless to say, she's part of the problem. She hires young staff, doesn't announce when they leave, doesn't announce when new staff joins, and doesn't communicate well with parents. When I talk to her about concerns I have, I often feel like there's a language barrier or something. I can practically see everything I say fly right over her perfectly styled head.

Turnover is a problem, too. Half the time, someone I've never met is handing my kids to me at the end of the day. There's only one teacher who's been there as long as we have.

That's the background. Here are the actuals:

1. Frequently, when I drop Ig off, his room is over ratio. Now, if this place didn't already push state limits, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal. But on a GOOD day, there are two very young women with 14 2.5 year old. I can barely manage 1 two-year old. But seven? So if there are 16 kids in there, I will wait until kids and teachers are shuffled appropriately and I can feel safe leaving my son. The waiting makes Ig uneasy and me late for work. And it's an ongoing issue.

2. When I pick up, the boys will sometimes be together in one room, with a teacher I barely know watching tiny little Ig with a bunch of older 4YOs. Which wouldn't be so bad if the teacher was actually watching and if Ig weren't so tiny and immature for his age.

3. On 3 separate occasions, Ig has come home with no pullup and no undies. Funny the first time, downright concerning by the third. He doesn't have tear-away pullup. He has to take offf his pants and undies to do this. Which means he's got to be alone in the bathroom for close to five minutes to accomplish this task. And did I mention that he slipped in the bathroom and had to get stitches a few months ago?4

. Ozzy had an asthma flare last week. I would have kept him home if I had any flexibility at work, but I coudln't. So I nebbed him up and sent him to daycare with an alubterol MDI. I filled out all the forms for him to get the meds....and he didn't. They forgot to give him his 4 o'clock dose. They. Forgot. To. Give. Him. Asthma. Meds.

...and that was the final straw.

So I'm moving them away from their friends to a nearby center. The new place is about half the size and family-owned. It's clean. And Ig's room has 8 boys and two *mature* caregivers. Ozzy's room has three teachers; one of them is the owner.

I feel good about the move, but it's a LOT more money...at a time when no one has a LOT more money for everything. And it's disruptive to all of us.

I wish this wasn't a necessary step, but I don't think our current childcare situation is repairable. Miss America takes responsibilty for nothing. She blamed Ig for the diaper removal. While her business manager admitted to forgetting Ozzy's medicine, she lied to corporate -- and essentially blamed Ozzy for lying about the missed dosed! She blamed the teachers for Ig's stitches and the business manager for the ratio issues. I can't work with someone who can't own their mistakes. Doesn't she realize that her staff is reflection of herself? That if she were on "The Apprentice," the Donald would have sacked her ass?

Hopefully, the kids and I will be happier at the new center. Ig's been very clingy at drop-off lately - a new behavior for him, probably sympomatic of the chaos he has to deal with once I leave.As my co-worker so aptly put it, "It's OK to *miss* your kids while you're at work, but you can't *worry* about them."

Running Seems Right

2008-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Last year, I started running. I did this because, a full year after having son #3, I still looked like I'd *just had* son number three. I had signed up for a Curves membership, did my three workouts religiously (despite the fact that I was the youngest member by a good 30 years), and still had people - women! - asking me if I was pregnant.

So I started running.

I began training with a girlfriend, who was also trying to lose weight. A mutual friend was hosting a charity 5K a few months later, so we made that a goal.

For me, who had never run further than the end of the driveway, it was a challenge. I had to start slow: 2 minutes walking, one minute running. 3 minutes walking, 2 minutes running, and so on.

Months later, I was barely making 2 miles, but the 5K was around the corner. I escalated my traning, and long story short, finished the 5k without walking a single step.

I've been running ever since, and I've found that if I keep races on my calendar, I always have a fitness goal. It's not so much about losing the weight anymore, it's about finishing a race. Somehow, that goal works better.

And where I used to be glued to the treadmill, running while watching old episodes of "Buffy" on DVD, I now run outside. I got a Zune for my anniversary, and I've crammed it full of the Misfits, Social Distortion, Still Little Fingers, old Red Hot Chili Peppers - all the driving music from my heyday.

I used to run at night. I'd skip dinner, but feed all three boys, and when they sat down to their meal, I'd hit the treadmill. But now I, who used to wake up at 8:50 and work in my home office in my PJs, I now wake up at 6 and head out for an AM run. I've found a nice route where I cut around a pond, and I've seen goldfinches and orioles and little bunnies in the morning sun.

For a working mother with 3 boys, ages 2, 4 and 6 (and 38!), this is my vacation.

Last summer, we rented a cottage on a lake in Ontario with the boys and my in-laws. Ig, the little one, who's always been a little tough, had 5th disease while we were there, and was just about intolerable. He was whiney and clingy, he wouldn't sleep and he wouldn't go to anyone but me. At the same time, the creative department at work had kidnapped a very high-profile project of mine, and I was forced to bring my laptop on the trip. (That was fun - I had to drive 15 minutes to get ONE BAR on my air card!!)

Every day, I'd put Ig down for a nap after lunch (didn't care whether he slept or not) and I would just run. I'd run as fast and as hard as I could, with all the energy and anger of a primal scream. It felt good. I took a dirt road through the woods, past wildflowers and hummingbirds, only a little nervous about bears and axe murderers. But it was what I needed. The perfect escape, the perfect release.

That's why I still run. I have a history of bad knees, a trick hip and I'm in desperate need of new sneakers, but I'll keep running for a while.

When the kids are older, maybe I'll start walking instead. Or dancing!

Does having frequently-sick children make me unemployable?

2008-05-27T05:35:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about this since last night. Does that fact that I have three children who are often sick make me unemployable? The guilty email I sent to my boss last night - explaining that I had to work from home today because (1) my toddler has Fifth Disease and (2) public schools are inexplicably closed and my Kindergartener has nowhere to go - made me feel like a pink slip was surely headed my way.

This is a struggle I've been grappling with for years now. My children get sick often, as I believe, most preschoolers do. It may be that I have more conflicts than other moms - my kids have some issues:

#1 son has Aspergers Syndrome and asthma (now controlled). He's had pneumonia or RSV 4 times. He's also had two minor surgeries - one for strabismus (both eyes), one for adenoids.
#2 son has asthma, controlled for the moment, but flares every few months.
#3 son has asthma and chronic ear infections. He's literally sick every two weeks.

...so in addition to the regular medical visits, I have frequent sick visits and specialist visits, and with my older one, therapist visits and IEP meetings at the public school.

I should also add that I adore my kids. They're definitely my top priority - as they should be. I don't dose them with Tylenol and send them off to daycare or school so I can squeeze in a few hours at the office. If they're sick they stay home. I'm adamant about this for two reasons: first, because a secondary infection (or worsening of the first) can easily mean a trip to the ER for any of the "asthma boys", and secondly, because it's not fair to the other moms if Ig gives one of his friends a whopping case of Strep - because I was too selfish to keep him home.

That said, I give 150% or more to my work. I love online marketing, and I love being part of a company that appreciates me and the work I do. And when I work from home, I actually WORK FROM HOME. If it means planting my kids in front of the TV for a few hours at a time, then I've gotta do it. They're all pretty cooperative. And if it means I have so many interruptions that I have to duck into the home office when my husband gets home and work until the wee hours, then so be it. If I have work to get done...it's getting done!

Admittedly, I was spoiled by my last position. I worked for a company that trusted me to do my job. I worked from home when I needed to, remaining reachable at all times via phone, email and IM. No one checked up on me minute to minute, but they knew my work would be done. The trust I had made me feel even more obligated to meet my goals and deadlines - even if I had to stay up til 2:00 am to do it.

That freedom (and the two best bosses a girl could hope for) earned my loyalty. I would have done anything for that company. Anything. I knew I was slightly underpaid for my work there, but I didn't care. I loved my job and I relished the reality that I could work from home if #1 son had a parent/teacher conference at elementary school.

And sure, you can take my word for the fact that I worked hard, or you can look at what I accomplished there. While I can't take sole credit, I can tell you that I helped that company reach these goals:

Best Place to Work in NJ - top 5 in 2005 and 2006
Deloitte Technology Fast 50 - 2005, 2006
Top Best Small and Medium Companies to Work for in America (2006)
Forbes Enterprise Award Winner
Impressive growth and publicity that led to a successful (if tragic for me) acquisition

As a client-side marketer, I don't think that's too shabby. Especially since I spent about 15% of my career there working out of my living room.

I'm very upfront about my needs in terms of flexibility with prospective employers. I'd like to think my track record speaks for itself.

With an impending (and worsening) recession and absurdly high gas prices, I'd like to think employers are going to start being more accepting of virtual days and other family- and wallet- friendly arrangements. I believe they're going to have to be, honestly.

I'd like to think I make a strong case for what moms can do. So here are my parting notes:

Moms - speak up. We need workplaces that support our needs as caregivers. This means you need to be clear about what you need in terms of flexibility.
Moms - step up. DO NOT take that flexibility for granted. Just because your workplace supports you doesn't mean your co-workers do. You need to work 10x smarter and harder to prove your worth in the office.
Employers - wake up. A working mom can be your best asset. We may need some special arrangements, but we'll be the most loyal, hardworking employees you've ever had. Give us a shot.

Do your own thing; believe in yourself. Then blog.

2008-04-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

Why do I worry so much about The Other Bloggers? Why do I worry what people will think?

One of these days, I'm going to start trusting myself. Start trusting my own writing. My own BRAIN.

When I started this blog, I knew it could never be another Micro Persuasion, another Marketing Pilgrim, Diva Marketing or Social Days. I know I'm not Debbie Weil or Steph Agresta.

What I find is that I fall into the same trap I fell into when I was in in theatre - I don't trust my own talent. I don't believe that people will like me for who I am.

If I'm going to build my "personal brand," I probably need to have a little more confidence in who and what that brand is.

Sigh.

It's hard enough balancing work with mommyhood. There's so much more to me than that, all of which has been sidelined for the work/mommy thing. Singing, painting, tattoos and combat boots...I do need to find a place in my world for all that stuff. (Some of it more prominently...some a little more discreetly!)

But it's all part of Mom 2.0...I want it all to be part of me. I just need to figure out how to get it all in, and blog about it all along the way.

Good Friday

2008-03-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the kind of day that inspired me to start yet another blog.

There are plenty of great blogs out there about social media, internet marketing, search engine marketing...but not so many about being a parent in the middle of it all.

At noon on Good Friday, I'm meeting with my two associates about kicking off a mess of bigass SEM campaigns. We're also going to be discussing how their plans for tracking and testing need to dovetail with my marketing plan.

Oh...but did I mention that my 6 year old has no school tomorrow? And that the TWO sets of plans I made for him tomorrow both fell through?

Did I further mention that my 2 year old has an ear infection, so my husband and I actually haven't gotten anything remotely resembling good night's sleep since....Saturday?

This is what I'm talkin' about, people. Balance is a challenge for most working parents, but for those of us who actually put the kids first (and trust me - not all of us do!) it's a neverending feat, trying to strike that balance between doing a great job and being a great mom. For those of us who "get it", every day is another chance to get it right.

I'm not one of those moms who doses their kids with Motrin when they're running 103 so I can drop them at daycare and squeeze a few hours of work in (at their expense).

I feel actual guilt when I'm the last mom at aftercare pickup.

And I actually shut my laptop from the moment I get home from work until the kids are in bed (unless things are really dire at work - which is pretty rare).

I wouldn't work anywhere where I couldn't work from home if my kids were sick. I've got three boys with asthma, one with Aspergers Syndrome as well. If I can't flex, I'm looking for another job. Period.

So tomorrow inspired me. This is what what "Mom 2.0" is all about.

Post SES Malaise

2008-03-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

I've been at SES New York all week, and I am BEAT. I was going to drive in and hit the Oldtimer's session this morning, but tunnel traffic had a 40 minute backup at 9, when it should be clear, so I gave up and worked from home instead.

I took the bus in for the show every day this week, and I have to tell you, I'm *still* a little car-sick. I knew I had some motion sickness issues, but I didn't realize what a wuss I truly was until Tuesday night. I really can't handle travel by road, unless I'm driving!

The show wasn't bad. It did a good job of fortifying the basics for me. But I do think I'm ready for SMX advanced next year. Here's a solid example of things I already knew that I learned three or four more times during SES:

Match your landing pages to your search ads and keywords.
Microsites are good in B2B search.
Microsites are bad in B2B search.
Test a lot.
Short forms generally convert better than long ones.
Use analytics and keep tabs on your highest performing keywords, your CPA, etc.
Google STILL owns the lion's share of the search marketplace.
SEO is important.
Black Hat SEO is bad.
Jason Calacanis doesn't hate SEO, he is an SEO. (Really. He said so himself.)
Mahalo is good. (Says Jason)
Viral marketing is good for building buzz.

And yes, it really did feel that basic, that disparate, and occasionally, that biased. I did learn some new stuff, but not much. I was particularly annoyed by the "Igniting Viral" session, which lumped WOM is as viral. I don't think WOM and viral are the same. "Elf Yourself" is viral. Blogs and Twitter are WOM. Agreed?

The best part of the show for me was hooking up with former co-workers from DigitalGrit. More on this in a later post, but it was AWESOME seeing everyone again.

WEGO Health Gets It Right

2008-03-14T17:00:00.001-07:00

Media and PR Pros take note: If you want to know how to play nice with bloggers, follow the example of WEGO Health.

Apart from flattering me by acknowledging my asthma blog as a "leading" site in the space a few months back, they just invited me to participate in a survey on how they might improve their site to serve me, the blogger, better.

So, of course, what they really wanted to know was how I could serve THEM better...but they did it right!

Not only did they ask about my blog and how much traffic I have, how "influential" I am within the health community (not at all), etc...they also asked what kind of content and opportunities they could provide to keep me interested. Would I like discussions with healthcare leaders on the topics that interest me? (Yes) Would I like them to syndicate my blog? (Yes) Would I like to learn more about building traffic for my blog (Hmmm, I may know how to do that. I may not actually DO it, but I'm pretty sure I make a living doing that stuff.) Would I like to contribute to one of their blogs, or actively moderate a community of thousands? (Not particularly, but flattered you asked.)T

The survey was maybe 5-10 minutes long, but what a great effort. It was sent with a personalized email - and I mean personalized - referenced my last blog posts, asked how the kids were and everything!

I'm telling you, folks - the people at WEGO Health are GOOD.

I can't tell you where I work

2008-02-29T19:01:00.000-08:00

so...my new job is for a big, public company, and I can't tell you what it is.

Hey, so much the better. Now I can bitch about work.

Sick on my fourth day

2008-02-29T18:57:00.000-08:00

How's that for an impressive start? I'm in the office for half a week when I come down with some horrific virus.

I felt fine when I woke up on Thursday, but by the time I got to the office, I had serious chills. During a conference call in the AM, I actually had to put my head down on my desk.

By lunch, I realized there was no way I would make it through the day. I headed home and slept through the afternoon, joining a brief conference call late in the afternoon.

Way to make a killer first impression, huh?

If I'm REALLY lucky, one of the kids will get sick for me next week...

A typical Aimee moment

2008-02-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

On an average day, I don't stop moving until about 9:00 PM. Often, I'll crash out on the couch and fall asleep watching Law & Order (I'm addicted to the reruns).

I'll snooze for close to an hour or so, then rouse enough to drag my exhausted butt to the bedroom...

At which point I'll remember there's not only a wet wash that needs to go in the dryer, but a full load of dry things that need to be folded.

Weekend with Ig

2008-02-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

Had such a great weekend with Ig (my 2 year old) while my big guys were up in Canada. He's so good when he's the "only child." If only I could figure out some way to avoid the screaming and tantrums when his brothers are home.

It was such a good weekend, in fact, I'm seriously bummed about going to work tomorrow -- even though it's my last week before starting the new gig. In a big way, I want to spend as much time with my co-workers as I can...I've worked with most of these people for nearly four years and loved just about every minute of it.

On the other hand, I don't want to go back and face the transitioning of projects, packing up my desk...and saying goodbye to everyone. This is going to be HARD.

I'll have a lot more to say about this during the week. Here's to hoping I actually get around to writing it.

Meanwhile, it's off to bed. I've got to head out early if I'm going to go into the city tomorrow. It'll be nice to enjoy one last day in my Park Avenue office. (Note that I've only spent *one other day* in my Park Avenue office.)

Marketer, Mom and Confessed Geek

2008-02-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm not a person who does anything half-assed. I'm (almost) as passionate about my career in online marketing as I am about raising my three little boys. If I didn't love what I do, how could I possibly leave them to go to work every day?

I already have a blog about being the mom of three asthmatic kids. I spend plenty of time and energy venting on that topic.

What I need to write about here is the stuff I love in the online space, as well as the whole balance thing. I'm not sure how it will all mesh together...but we'll see. I'll try to make it work!!